Sinful Endeavors
by Fatema
Summary: ***Chapter One is UP!***Harry and Ginny have had a long and happy marriage, until the moment came where the truth just wouldn't stay a secret any longer. With this secret came much sorrow and pain. You get to live that pain through the words of this tale.
1. Default Chapter

**Sinful Endeavors** By: Fatema 

Sinful Endeavors   
By: Fatema  
Feedback to: haquef111@Yahoo.com  
Rated: PG-13 at best   
Author's Note: For the two HP shorts I've written, I've gotten amazing amounts of responses. I've also noticed you all like angst like I do. This one has been spinning around in my head for quite some time and with the recent reviews I have been encouraged to write it. Please let me know what you think by reviewing. It means the world to me (especially when I don't get paid for this, feedback is my paycheck!).  
Summary: Harry and Ginny have had a long and happy marriage, until the moment came where the truth just wouldn't stay a secret any longer. With this secret came much sorrow and pain. You get to live that pain through the words of this tale. It's a tale of sinful endeavors and how it has affected the people involved. 

  
  
  


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The tears feel heedlessly, no words were necessary, no movements were made. The tears just continued to fall down her slightly freckled face. She was the one who had destroyed what was so important to her. It was her that had done it and now she paid for it.

Her heart felt like more broken than she could even imagine. Right now she couldn't even care anymore. Silence rang through the house that used to hold so much happiness. It wasn't happy anymore.

How had she gotten so caught up in something so badly that she couldn't even see straight? That she knew, she _knew_, it was ruining her life, that it would ruin her life, yet she had willingly done it. There was no one to blame but herself.

She knew that he had every reason to be angry with her. Every reason to hate her and she believed that he hated her. She believed that with all of her heart. She had _seen_ it in his eyes. In those beautiful bright green eyes of his. 

They once showed how he loved her, but now showed pure hatred and so much pain. So much sorrow that she could barely hold onto reality. It felt as if it was slipping away from her. Too fast; too damn fast. 

She didn't bother wipe away the tears that continued to fall. She knew that it was no use for they would fall anyway. She had given up on wiping away the tears. 

Her mind flashed through all that has happened, all that she knew was happening, and all that she had ignored because she got lost in one moment. She got lost in one single moment that destroyed her life.

No it wasn't a _single_ moment. It really wasn't. It was more than that. It was the adrenalin rush that she felt when she was with _him_. The way he made her heart beat so erratically. The way he seduced her with his words, with his movements, with his very touch. 

But was it worth it? Was it worth it to have her life destroyed like this?

Truth was it wasn't. She was suffering and she knew why. She was the one who had done it all and she was now facing the consequences. Could she really blame anyone but herself?

She thought about the first time it had happened. It had been after a fight she had with Harry. It wasn't one of those good fights. It was the more nasty ones. She had gone off on him for always working late hours and never being around the house. 

Why had she gone off on him that night?

Because she was afraid. That was the truth. She was afraid for his life. Every time he had left the house she feared that she would never see him again. That she would hear it from someone else that he was gone. He was _dead_. And that was not something she wanted to hear at all.

And as most of their fights started this way, this one had also. 

"I hate that you leave me like this! I hate you for leaving me like this!" she yelled at him.

"Ginny you don't hate me. This is my job! I have to do this," he yelled back at her, so damn frustrated. Why was it that she always did this? Why couldn't she understand how important all of this was? He gave up Quidditch to get this job, so that he could help people. She just didn't seem to understand that.

"No I hate what you do Harry. Everyday you leave and I am afraid of whether or not you are going to come back to me. I am afraid of the fact that I may never see you again and it doesn't help anymore. Your words don't help anymore. I hate the fact that you do this job and I am not strong enough to take it," she told him honestly, still yelling.

He got a sorrowful look on his face. "I am sorry," he said quietly. "I am sorry Gin, but I have to do this."

"Why?" she yelled at him. 

"Because this is what I was meant to do," he replied. He looked down at the watch on his hand seeing the time. "I have to go."

"Don't leave me Harry. Don't leave me otherwise I may do something you won't like. Don't leave," she warned him, her voice nearly reaching its most desperate peak.

"It won't be like last time Gin. I'll be fine," he tried reassuring her again.

"NO! I told you your words wouldn't help me! Last time you almost died Harry! If they were a few minutes late you would've died! I won't take that chance again. I won't go through that pain again!" she yelled at him.

He sighed. "I'll see you when I get back Ginny," he told her before walking out the door.

That was the moment she had really lost it all. She had done what she wasn't supposed to do. She had gone out, after him really, but ended up in a completely different place. She couldn't keep up with him and she had ended up in the one place she sure as hell didn't want to be in.

He was surprised to see her, but his gray eyes had held a spark there somewhere. His eyes pulled her in, somehow making her hungry, craving for his very touch. It was strange. It was so very strange.

She used to be repulsed by him, but when she saw him, something changed. To this very day she couldn't tell what that attraction it was, but it was something. It led her to where she was now.

And then he had circled her, after staring at her for a very long time. He finally touched her then. His articulate fingers ran over her jaw and down to the slight cleavage that was showing. 

And throughout all of this she did nothing. She said nothing. She did nothing. She was too fascinated. His eyes held onto hers before his mouth had come crashing down hers.

For nearly fifteen minutes he kissed her like no one else had kissed her before. Not even Harry. She didn't even realize what she was doing. She had just kissed him back. It was so different, so erotic. She could have barely believed it, but she knew that it was the truth, that it was happening, right then and there.

That was when she had gotten lost in the passion. She had forgotten reality as it was and had lived for only his touch. And each and every time they had met the craving to be with him increased. Every time it was better. It felt so much better and she didn't know how to stop it.

She didn't even realize when it had happened. She had become addicted to Draco Malfoy's touch and couldn't live without it. The lies came easier and easier. The first few times it was the hardest thing she could do, but as time wore on, as they continued to meet in secret, it became so easy that she didn't even think twice. She didn't even blink as she looked into Harry's green eyes. It had become that easy for her.

She drew her knees closer to her body as a sob raked through her body at the simple thought of it. Everything had gone too far. Harry was so hurt. In all of her life, in all the time that she had been with him, that she had known him, she had promised that she would be the one person he could always count on. That she would be the person that he could always trust. That she would be the person who would never hurt him.

And she was now the person who hurt him more than anyone else. 

_"All those promises... all those vows... they meant nothing to you did they?" he seethed in anger and pain._

"It meant something to me Harry. Believe me it did," she tried to explain, the tears falling furiously. She came forward, hoping to touch him, but he moved away.

"Don't you dare Ginny. Don't you dare touch me with those hands," he said in a furious voice.

She felt like breaking right then and there. His eyes were as cold as ice. She had never seen them so hurt, so angry, and so cold. Never. "I love you."

"No don't say that," he yelled. "You don't love me."

"**YES** I do Harry," she yelled back.

"No! NO! You don't love me. You couldn't have done this to me if you loved me," he told her. He ran his hands through his hair feeling as if he was going crazy. He tugged at it hard, so damn hard, hoping that the pain of it would override the pain he felt in his heart, but it was no use.

"Please..." she whispered weakly.

"How long have we been together Gin?" he asked quietly, not looking at her, his voice so defeated. "How long has it been? Ten years maybe?" he said choking on his own words. "Ten years and you threw all of that away, just like that. You kept doing it too." He finally turned to look at her. "Why did you do it? What did he have that I didn't? What did he give you that I couldn't in ten years?" 

"Harry there was nothing..."

"There HAD to be something Ginny!" he yelled suddenly making her jump. "There had to be something that he had that I didn't for you to throw away so much... for you to hurt me like this... for you to destroy our lives."

"Let me explain..."

"You can't explain. There is nothing that you can possibly say," he told her coldly before turning around and leaving her. Leaving her forever...

The thought made her cry harder. She couldn't take it. She just couldn't.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She knew that touch. She knew it oh so very well.

She stood up immediately, going on the defensive. She faced him once again. "What the hell are you doing here?" 

"I came to see how you are," he replied quietly. She laughed a bitter laugh.

"It's not like you care," she said bitterly. 

"You're wrong Ginny. I do care," he said earnestly. She laughed again, that sickened, defeated, bitter laugh.

She shook her head. "You know if I didn't know you are such a liar I may have bought that," she said quietly.

"I mean it," he repeated.

She turned her fiery eyes towards him. "You really do think that I didn't know don't you Draco? You really do believe that I don't know you are the one who did this? That you are the one who set it up so that Harry would find us right?"

He said nothing, which angered her even more. She started walking towards him, an accusing finger pointed at him. "You set him up. You destroyed my life. You made me lose everything that had ever meant anything to me."

"I didn't do any of that. He really must've not meant anything to you if you were so willing to go to bed with me," he seethed, her tone and accusations hitting the spot, making him react in the way he didn't want to.

She laughed. Another bitter laugh. 

He hated those laughs.

Her face turned serious again. "You are a sick twisted bastard and if I never see you again it'll be too early," she said in a cold voice. "I want you to leave. I want you to forget that you ever met me. Take your victory and leave me."

"I don't want to leave you. Don't you see Ginny?" he asked placing a hand on her shoulder. She recoiled from his touch as if she was burned. "I love you."

"NO! NO! NO!" she yelled over and over again. "Don't you dare say that! You can't love! You don't know how to love! All you know how to do is destroy! GET OUT!" 

"Ginny..."

"Don't call me that. Don't call me that. Don't say that. Just get out. Just get out," she repeated over and over again. Oh dear God she was going crazy. Reality was finally slipping away. 

"Please..."

"NO!" she yelled a final time. Her eyes finally connected with his and he saw the message that was written within them. She was surely done with it all. He saw the pain and the confusion. He saw all that there was needed to be seen. "Let me be."

He said nothing. He took one last look at her before Apparating out of the room. But before he left he said three simple words that broke her heart even further.

"I love you."

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	2. Chapter One

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**Title:** Sinful Endeavors   
**Author name:** Fatema  
**Author email:** haquef111@yahoo.com  
**Category:** Work In Progress  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Chapter:**One**Summary:**Harry and Ginny have had a long and happy marriage, until the moment came where the truth just wouldn't stay a secret any longer. With this secret came much sorrow and pain. You get to live that pain through the words of this tale. It's a tale of _sinful endeavors_ and how it has affected the people involved.  
**Author's Note**: This wasn't meant to be a multi-chaptered fic, but somehow the inspiration hit me like a ton of bricks, LOL! So here it is :)   


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Deny

By: Fatema

A bit of introduction (since I didn't do this the last time):

This story takes place about eleven years after Hogwarts. Harry and Ginny got married right after her seventh year. They were married for ten years, or at least close to it. You guys all know what happened with the whole Draco thing. Draco himself is now in full control of the Malfoy estate and all properties dealing with his father, after his very unexpected death. Ron and Hermione are together and most likely a lot of the cast is going to be involved in this story. The only warning I could possibly think of is that this is a dark fic, which eventually (hopefully, through a very slow process) will turn into something good. Who knows?

Three Months Later --- A flat in west Scotland

She hid away from all things that surrounded her. The room that she was in was cold and dark. The numerous shades blocked out all of the light that tried to make it's way into the dark room. She didn't want to see the light. She just wanted to dwell in her pain. That seemed to be the greatest punishment... at least in her mind.

She started to see him again. The him that she didn't want to see. The him that she wished she wouldn't see.

She saw Tom...

She tried to escape from her thoughts of Draco and Harry. She tried to stop thinking of all that she had done to hurt Harry and her whole family. It wasn't just Harry she had hurt. No, it was everyone.

And like in her first year, she sought out comfort in the only person she really knew that would give her the type of comfort she craved.

Tom...

Even though she knew that he was long gone after the long and harsh final battle in Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts, she somehow sought comfort in him. He seemed to be the only one who understood her right now. He was the only one she actually let in.

She had these daily conversations with him. It was weird really. Not like you would expect, but she didn't care. She wasn't the strongest woman. She already knew that. She had gone mad and there was no denying it. So she figured she would kick it up a few extra notches. What could it hurt??

There were of course many things wrong with that. With every word that she spoke to Tom, with every single day that she spent in the small cubicle-like flat, with every moment of darkness and silence that she suffered through, she lost a part of herself. She lost reality and slipped further into the world of madness. 

What made her do any of this, she did not understand. She had a reasonably happy life. She knew that of course. Up until maybe seven months ago she had a good life with barely any problems. She was as happy as anyone could possibly be. She wasn't rich or anything, but she was happy.

And the reason she let herself suffer this much right now was because she felt she deserved it. She felt that she was the one who brought all of this onto everyone... onto herself.

And so she spent day after day, week after week, month after month, sitting in the tiny flat, speaking to Tom of all her miseries and hiding in the darkness, hoping that no one would ever find her again.

She was hoping that death would find her...

She wasn't one to be suicidal. It wasn't her style, even though the idea appealed to her more and more everyday. There was something that continued to stop her from doing anything. She wasn't sure what it was, but something kept stopping her.

At night when she tried to fall asleep she dreamt of his touch. It was his addictive touch that ruined her life. She dreamt of Draco Malfoy. She didn't want to. No, she didn't want to think of any of it. She just wanted to find peace again. But at night he would hunt her soul. He would call for her to go to him and she would fight the urge with all her might.

She personally thought that she was weak, but she didn't want to get caught up with him again. His call sometimes made her scream in fear. She would wake up breathless, sweating, the sheets all tangled up in her legs, breathing hard... trying to escape. 

Yes, the nights were the worst. At least during the day she knew that light was just a few steps away, that light was behind the curtains. And if it ever got too overwhelming, which most of the time she tried to avoid, she could go and see the light. But that wasn't the case when it was nighttime.

There was no light then and it scared her more than she could say... more than she could comprehend.

She looked down at her wrist and slowly traced up the long scar, going as far as her elbow. She did this everyday. It was like a ritual. Everyday she would see just how much of a damaged person she was. She would trace the scar over and over again.

She would remember just how she got the scar. It was that night when she couldn't take it anymore. When she needed to be relieved. She had taken the only knife in the house and cut herself... to stop the urge. She wanted to stop her hands from going _down there_ to relieve the ache between her legs. He had driven her to want to relieve the ache. 

She didn't bother using a wand. She didn't think that it hurt enough. She wanted to really suffer. Besides, she had broken her wand in anger. 

A single tear fell down her face as she traced the scar over and over again. She was sure that her tears could fill a million oceans. She had cried so much in the last three months. It was like a never-ending trail of water. It just continued to fall.

Her eyes were red and puffy, now with many dark circles around them. She was thin and very fragile. She was _weak_. Her hair was a mess. She didn't remember when the last time she had even bothered to brush her hair. It was a tangled wreck.

"You destroyed me didn't you?" she asked quietly, looking down at the scar.

_"Who are you talking to Ginny?"_

"You know who I am talking to Tom," she whispered. It was all a motion, no reality to it. Just simple motions. 

_"If you had let me help you this wouldn't have happened."_

"And if I had, then what would you have done to me?" she replied. It was the same conversation everyday, yet it seemed new somehow.

_"You know what I would've done."_

"No I don't. Tell me," she replied, her voice dead with no emotion.

_"I wouldn't have let you get yourself into this mess. I could've stopped all of this," his voice was soothing._

"Then why didn't you?" she asked, turning her eyes towards him.

_"Because you wouldn't let me. You wouldn't let me get close to you Virginia."_

"I want you to get close to me now. I want you to get rid of the pain. Please Tom..." her voice was desperate.

_"It's too late. It's too late..."_

"Don't leave me! Tom! TOM!" she yelled desperately. But he was gone just like every other day.

She felt as if she had lost everything and some reality was setting in on her, as it did everyday. The reality of her madness set in and she cried. Sobs wrecked through her body as she struggled to breathe. She just wasn't sure how she could get out of this.

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"What did you find out?" he demanded. The man in front of him tried not to quiver in fear, failing slightly. 

"We believe that s-she is in a f-flat on the west c-coast of S-Scotland," he stuttered out.

Draco sighed. "Get things prepared. I want this to be kept a secret and if it isn't..." he drifted off, hinting the meaning of the silent threat.

"O-of course Mr. M-Malfoy. Complete d-discretion," the man stuttered out before bowing slightly. Draco paid no attention and the man Apparated from the room, feeling dismissed.

Draco sat there, silently contemplating the situation at hand. It had been over three months since she had disappeared. He was surprised at the fact that she could hide herself so well. He felt a bit proud too. He wasn't quite sure she had it in her, until now.

The last time any magic had been detected was exactly three months ago. But they couldn't get a hold of the exact location. That was why he was having so much trouble finding her.

He didn't want to admit that he was worried. For some reason he feared that thought. 

He thought back to why he had even wanted her in the first place. She was a beautiful, sexy woman, even with all of her tiny faults (which he personally found even more sexy). But he hadn't used her looks as a factor to even decide on why he would go after her, although looks had _something_ to do with it. 

He wanted her partly so that he could stick it to Harry Potter. The thought of it appealed a lot more and that was probably why he fought for it so much.

The one thing he hadn't anticipated was falling in love with her. Draco Malfoy didn't fall in love. Malfoys didn't know how to love, but he truly believed he had.

And now he feared that he had lost her forever...

Of course his father had driven into his head that fear was never a factor that would stand in his way. He had suffered through enough that he feared nothing and no one. Not even the Dark Lord himself.

But this was different. No one prepared him for this. It just wasn't expected. He was arranged to marry someone and he wasn't expected to fall in love with anyone. That was probably why this was so scary.

He tried not to think about that very much. Thinking about it disturbed him a bit too much. 

"Did you know that all work and no play could really ruin a relationship?"

The question startled him, although he didn't show it. He turned his eyes, rather lazily, towards the woman who now sat on top of his desk. "What relationship?" he asked coldly.

Blaise Zabini threw him a cold look before flipping her hair back and getting more comfortable on top of his table. Her long, sexy legs were now fully on top of the table and she leaned back on her hands. She turned her eyes towards him, her breathing starting to become shallow as if she was in heat or something. "You sure?" she asked.

Draco rolled his eyes and stood up from his seat walking away from her. Blaise was a beautiful woman, but he had no interest in her. Her heart was as cold as the Arctic Ocean, probably colder. "What did I say?" he replied.

She threw another look and got off the table from the sexy position that she was in. "What is wrong Draco?" she asked, feeling a bit annoyed.

He turned his eyes towards her. "How long does it take you to understand that I am not interested in you Blaise?" 

"What? You are actually saying that you are interested in the Weasley girl?" she seethed. He shook his head and turned away from her not answering. "What the hell do you even see in her? What is it about you and your father?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" he hissed in anger, turning around to look at her, his eyes as cold as ice.

She shrugged her shoulders. "When you are ready to admit your true feelings about me Draco, that's when I'll tell you," she told him before Apparating out of the room.

Draco angrily looked at the spot where she had stood. He then reached back and threw the vase that he got in his hand at where she had stood.

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The Burrow 

Everyone had barely rested in the past three months. Life had gone on, of course, after the first two or three weeks. But everything still wasn't the same as everyone would expected it to be. And no one was really sure what was to be expected anyway.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat at the kitchen table in yet another meeting about their findings. "I just don't get where she could've gone," Hermione said, looking down at the notes she had taken.

"It's my fault she is gone," Harry said quietly. The guilt had been driving him crazy. He could get nothing done. Everything was bothering him.

"I think we are going somewhere," Hermione finally said.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked turning to see what she was talking about.

"When we were searching places near Hogwarts, I received some reports about wizards hired by Malfoy," she told them.

Harry's green eyes turned colder at the mention of Draco's name. "What the hell was he doing there?"

"My best guess is that he must be searching for her too and if he is on the same path as we are, chances are we are very close to finding her," Hermione replied.

"I won't let that bastard get any closer to my sister," Ron said through gritted teeth. Everything had been hard for him, especially with what he had to hear about Draco. He didn't like it and he didn't understand why it was that anyone, especially Ginny, would be caught up with someone like him. 

"I won't either," Harry declared.

Hermione turned her surprised eyes towards him. She didn't expect Harry to really get back together with Ginny. She had expected him to finally pull away, but he seemed to have something else in mind. "I thought you were done with her?"

He turned his eyes towards Hermione and then turned his eyes away from her. "I am, but I don't plan on letting Malfoy get closed to her," he replied a bit coldly.

In Another Part of the Burrow

Arthur Weasley stared at his wife's sullen form and sighed. "We'll find her Molly," he said quietly.

"She's been gone for so long Arthur. I am afraid that something may be wrong with her," she whispered in fear. She turned her eyes to meet her husbands. Arthur drew her closer to him at just the simple contact of the eye. The eyes showed just how fearful she really was. Just how worried she was. Molly hadn't been taking things very well. She cried every night and a lot of times during the day.

Whenever she would see something that used to belong to Ginny, she would cry. She had also lost weight because of it all. Her chubby form was no longer that and she was much thinner. Arthur loved Molly with all of his heart and seeing her like this hurt him very much.

"I promise you Molly. I'll get her back," he whispered in her ear.

"I do hope so Arthur," she whispered back, as the small sobs racked through her body. She needed her little girl back. 

  


Thank you's: **Depth** (Thanks for the feedback. Glad you loved it. Your words are really inspiring) **Mushrom** (Thanks a lot! Sorry I made you cry!) **Kit** (? I have no idea what to say, but thanks for reviewing.) **Dannie7** (True, Draco is sexier, but I think I've always found Harry's eyes to be intense in some sort. Thanks for the review!) **Hespera** (Thanks for the review. Well if you don't like Ginny then I am assuming you don't want to read any more of this story?) And thanks to my wonderful beta reader Kim and to everyone else who reviewed. I sent the people who had their e-mail addy or owling available, but thank you again!

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